I’ve finally figured it out: The doctors are trying to kill me. They’re in collusion. But I’m onto them now. Haha! Yes, they’ve repeatedly threaded wires through the veins in …
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None of these Mother’s Day cards that seem right for my mother
So, who are these schmaltzy, saccharine Mother’s Day cards for? Not my mom, that’s for sure. Picking out a Mother’s Day card for my mom was challenging… “For all the …
Pain is not always weakness leaving the body
If there’s one thing I truly miss at this point in life, it’s running. When I see people jogging down the street, I’m so envious. I used to run every …
CPAP shmeepap
CPAP shmeepap. I want a show of hands: Who’s had a sleep study and NOT been sentenced to a lifetime of sleeping with a breathing machine? Anyone? After my first …
Playboy, the Bible, and protecting young minds
In our house, the stacks of Playboys were hidden in a secret room in the basement. Right next to the family Bible. That’s where they kept all the stuff that …
Humor and metaphor get lost in the communication
Every so often, you get a piece of hate mail that’s so gloriously bitter, it must be shared. Such was the case this week, as I began the new year …
A great time to purge your shelves and your life
“I don’t want to scare you,” my husband said quietly to me after Christmas dinner, so my son and daughter wouldn’t hear and be horrified (because “horrified: is usually a …
Welcome to the NBC Coliseum
So help me God, had I not seen this with my own eyes (albeit nearly squeezed shut in horror), I wouldn’t have believed that anyone could be this desperate. This …
Just call me ‘Burger’
What I expected after 11 years of perimenopause: My cycle would just stop cycling, the hot flashes and night sweats would simply end, I’d dab a nostalgic tear from my …
Yabba, dabba dooo — it’s quittin’ time!
Death and taxes. No one escapes. Here’s one more: colonoscopies. Once you hit 50, your doc will dog you like Columbo until you relent. Mine nagged me for two years, …