In an average little garage of an average little home in an average little Northern California town, something exceptional is growing and evolving: a magickal sisterhood, led by the warmly captivating Lady Jesamyn. Walking up her driveway, through the garage and into a spare room converted into a temple feels like stepping through the veil into a different universe. On this particular cool, sunny autumn afternoon, Lady Jesamyn paused from meticulously preparing for the Sisterhood of the Moon’s evening ritual to talk about what goes into creating sisterhood, beauty and community.
The clean, quiet space immediately sets a calming, mystical tone. The spicy, powdery scent of incense drifts through the air as candles flicker on decorative altars adorned with shimmering fabrics. The afternoon sun streams in on couches covered with velveteen drapes and ornate cushions, offering plush, inviting places to sit. Plain tables with satin coverings become shimmering focal points, particularly the main altar, where a small, bronze Brigid statue looks out over the ritual tools that include a large athame and selenite wand.
Lady Jesamyn herself, founder and High Priestess of Sisterhood of the Moon, has created a mystical mood for the room, and has also done the same for herself — a red gown, black lace shawl, and golden laurel leaf circlet. Her priestesses will do likewise, because every effort is made to offer something special, something transcendent, to all in attendance.
“We make it beautiful,” she explains, likening the whole experience as a gift. “We dress for ritual, do our hair and makeup, wear crowns and dresses. People deserve to come into a spiritual setting. The attendees can show up however they want, even in PJs. We want them to know that they’re deserving of beauty, and we will give them all the beauty we can.
“The Goddess is deserving of beauty. We can serve Her better when we dress our body-temples in a way that’s appealing to Her. If Goddess will be taking over my body for Her spiritual service, I want my body to look like a place she wants to inhabit, a place that is consciously made healthful and beautiful.”
She says physical and mental health, including treating one’s body as a temple, is something the Sisterhood strives for.
“Our community needs their Priestesses to be healthy, or how else will we serve them?” she says, explaining that taking care of oneself is itself an act of service.
“We care for ourselves so that we can care for others.”
Lady Jesamyn notes that caring for others and serving the community is the goal of every ritual.
“We make contact with everyone who walks through the door. The Belladonnas greet everyone and complete the altars, start everyone drumming and singing, and then the Priestesses come in. The First Priestess enters first, and the others help to hold the ‘container’ and back up the First Priestess.”
Each ritual has a familiar structure — grounding, circle casting, and “checking in” (i.e., everyone saying their name, passing a rattle, or completing a sentence). All are then asked to put some of their own energy into the circle and “become present.” The actual ritual changes depending on which priestess is leading the ritual, or the season, the moon cycle, or even the particular needs of their community.
“Every ritual within the structure is different, and every sense is involved — sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, sound and singing, and even movement, because not all of us want to sit still all the time.”
And, she notes, it’s not a performance or spectator gathering.
“Everyone participates. The Priestess holds the container and guides the ritual, but everyone has a chance to participate in it and work at the altar.”
Everyone participates, and everyone is welcome, regardless of experience or lack thereof.
“We engage with people with all levels of experience. If it’s the first time, or first time with us, or if they’ve circled with us elsewhere, or have circled for 50 years — we just ask people to bring their authenticity here. Everyone has to be engaged.”
Lady Jesamyn says preparation, genuineness and confidence makes it all seem effortless.
“We are well-trained and very secure in the knowledge of our magical foundation and why we do what we do so we can have fun. We know the basics, and are well-versed and very serious about them, but we don’t have anything to prove. We know we are whole and holy and worthy; we have developed our sense of self-love and our personal sovereignty. When we’re comfortable in our skin and in our magick, we don’t need to play a role. We can relax into the comfort of being ourselves.”
Rituals range from serious to playful.
“We do some serious deep work in this space, but we don’t have to dwell there. We’re feeling what needs to be felt and allowing that to move out of our bodies instead of holding that inside our bodies and letting that define our whole lives.”
A Heart’s Calling
Although Sisterhood of the Moon officially began on Imbolc in 2009, Lady Jesamyn discovered witchcraft while still a teenager in rural New Hampshire.
“I began studying witchcraft at 13. A book appeared in my home — Laurie Cabot’s ‘Power of the Witch.’ I don’t know where it came from. I swear the fairies brought this book and left it in my house. It was the only book I had on magic for about six years, and I learned it in and out.”
Lady Jesamyn ironically balanced her solitary practice while attending Catholic school, and she says the two paths actually have plenty in common: “The liturgy, the scents, the sights, the sounds — Catholics really know how to put on a ritual.” At 19, she read Marion Weinstein’s “Dianic Witchcraft,” Shekhinah Mountainwater’s “Ariadne’s Thread” while she “went to college and did college things,” earning her degree in Writing, Literature and Publishing from Emerson College, a mass communication and performing arts school in Boston, Massachusetts.
In 1997, at a women’s herbal conference in New Hampshire, she attended her first women’s ritual, where priestessing first beckoned her.
“It was at that point where I saw that priestessing was a valid path and I was very called by that. The transformation that happened and that I witnessed changed everything for me. That was the moment: ‘This is it, this is what I’m supposed to be doing.’ I didn’t know what that meant or how to pursue it at that time, but that was the lightbulb.
“When I was around the fire at the ritual, I knew. It was a spark, but not a fully formed idea. I knew that I was being called to create, but I didn’t have the education I wanted. I knew that if I was going to do something, I wanted to make sure I was educated.”
That experience set her on a new path. She moved to New York City, and while employed as an editor in the medical publishing industry, she met group of women who were forming a circle and wanted to learn to lead ritual.
“We embarked together studying ritual, learning as we went, and all initiated each other as Priestesses. It was really sweet and we were very dedicated and devoted to the work.”
Lady Jesamyn continued seeking out community, and discovered New Moon New York, “an umbrella group for pagan organizations.” On high holy days, the group held rituals. One of the women in her circle signed them up to do the Yule ritual but didn’t show up, so Lady Jesamyn stepped up.
“I was dropped in. I had only been in a coven of eight or nine women, and there were sixty people there. I led the ritual and it was good. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done in my entire life, and it was where I was really born as a Priestess.”
Go West, Young Priestess
In 2001, Lady Jesamyn’s priestessing path eventually led her to relocate to California’s Bay Area, where she’d attended a goddess festival the year prior and met a woman who she recognized as her teacher. She immersed herself in serving the community for over seven years, however, when she was ready to follow her original intentions to hive off and begin her own circle, she didn’t receive the High Priestess’ permission — an experience she describes as “very depressing.” Later in 2008, at a nighttime ceremony at the Temple of Goddess Spirituality dedicated to Sekhmet outside of Las Vegas, participants were taking turns going to the Sekhmet statue. At Sekhmet’s feet, Lady Jesamyn looked into her eyes and the message was clear: “This is IT. I’m tearing the veil from your eyes. You must leave this group.” And so, she did.
Leaving the group where she was ordained wasn’t easy, however. Lady Jesamyn grieved it for the next year as she started laying the groundwork for her own circle. The circle that she envisioned is what Sisterhood of the Moon became.
“I did a lot of writing, meditation, journeying, visioning… I got very clear on what I wanted the circle to be. Now we are a community. We are our own entity, our own Tradition, our own vortex.”
From its inception, Lady Jesamyn devoted herself completely.
“I made a dedication to the Goddess that no matter what, I would show up prepared and perform the ritual, even if no one else showed up. I would still do the work.”
Bottom line, it was all about serving the Goddess.
“I don’t think a lot of people who start a group come from a place of service. Some see a Priestess and say ‘I want that.’ It’s different to desire it because you want to look alluring and maybe become a ‘Big Name Pagan’ versus being called to serve, and service is most definitely my calling.”
Ritual Doesn’t Just Happen
Although Sisterhood of the Moon makes their rituals look like a breeze, it’s due to a lot of groundwork and planning. All priestesses are expected to be prepared.
“We don’t operate on Pagan Standard Time. We start when we say we’re going to start. You can’t relax into the ritual if you have to worry that your babysitter can’t stay. If we said it’s a certain theme, it will be what we say it is.”
Structure, she says, is the most important factor in “creating the container” for the ritual.
“Once it’s solidified, you have so much more freedom within the container to do what you want.”
In other words, “setting intention.”
“The intention that you set is fulfilled in creating the space. I do everything with intention. There literally is even an intention for where every single thing is placed.”
Being clear on the circle’s purpose is key.
“I wanted it to be a place for women to come and honor the Goddess and the cycles of the moon, and do magick together and become community for one another, all in service to something bigger than who we are individually. I wanted women who are serious about their spirituality but who also wanted to enjoy the company of others while they’re doing it — in service to the Goddess, and in service to women in service to humanity.”
Within that framework and support system, people can grow and change, she explains.
“When we change ourselves, we change the world. We can’t change other people — it’s an exercise in futility and bitterness, and that can be a super lonely path. You can only change yourself. But it’s good to have a community where everyone is learning to change themselves in positive ways and have feedback from others.”
As people develop their own upward spiral paths, Lady Jesamyn serves as “witness and midwife.”
“I’m not really here as a teacher — I’m a cheerleader, mentor, and witness: ‘This is what worked for me… it won’t necessarily work for you, but try it first before you throw it out.’ We are all informed by our own experiences.”
Having support makes all the difference.
“Not going it alone, having somewhere to lean in… Women especially are set up against each other, as if there’s not enough for everyone, and in order for us to get ours, we need to separate off. We have so much more when we lean in to one another and share our vulnerabilities.
“We’re taught ‘hide your flaws, hide your vulnerable side… pathologize.’ That doesn’t serve us anymore. We don’t need to be secretive; we don’t need to hide the truth of who we are anymore.”
For all this support, and even the circle itself, to exist, someone ultimately has to be in charge: the High Priestess. And that means responsibility.
“Some people see priestessing from the outside and think it’s a glamorous vocation, but it’s not. It looks glamorous for a couple of hours a month.”
Besides leading beautiful rituals in a beautiful space, she says a successful priestess needs practical skills, such as training in ritual facilitation, group dynamics, communication, leadership, teaching, counseling, and “the most boring of all that takes up the most time: administration. That’s the bullshit you have to do in order to serve properly.”
Priestessing isn’t something Lady Jesamyn does, it’s who she is.
“This is who I am in this lifetime. Every part of my life is part of this. Even watching sports on weekends, I’m still a Priestess and I’m still in service in whatever I do.
“I’ve been practicing magic since I was 13. I’m 44 now. My life isn’t separate from my magick, my magick is my life.”
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For more information about Sisterhood of the Moon and their circles, visit sisterhoodofthemoon.org, and find them on Facebook and Instagram.
Note: This story was first published in SageWoman magazine, December 20, 2019.