When I do, teach, or lead a meditation, somewhere in the preparation for that internal stillness is the phrase, “I am safe.” I often use it in conjunction with imagining you are an infant, cradled in your mother’s arms (or the arms of another beloved, trusted caretaker), and to reconnect with that sensation of being limp, heavy, and calm. Completely protected. Completely safe. Sometimes I instead guide one to imagine that Gaia herself is holding you close, and to connect to the feeling of gravity — that is Gaia hugging you tightly to her.

And then, in that moment, we pause and rest for a bit… experiencing that warm, loving safety. We say to ourselves, out loud, “I am safe.”

Lately our country seems less and less safe, with a new upheaval or shock to our collective system every morning. Before even opening my news app in the morning, I brace myself for whatever outrage has transpired overnight, and I know the first word in the headline will be “Trump.” It’s fucking exhausting, and also adds a daily 24-hour repeat of a feeling of impending doom and peril. Worse yet, it’s as if we’re on a train speeding for a cliff or mountainside — we don’t know which because we’re also blindfolded and at the mercy of a lunatic conductor — and all we can do is try to keep breathing and focus upon the current moment.

Focusing on the current moment (as opposed to all the many moments we imagine or worry about, many of them horrific) is a major component of feeling safe. Restoring calm. Releasing anxiety. A mantra I often speak to myself whenever anxiety seizes me is “Right here, right now, I am completely safe.” Since these moments often burst up in the wee hours, wrenching me from sleep, I also turn my focus to my warm, soft, comfy bed, quiet house, and protective spouse slumbering by my side. These things are safe. These things are grounding. These are actual experiences, as opposed to the imagined, frightful ones of the future.

Safety has been on my mind a lot since the beginning of the Oligarch Regime in January. Not merely physical safety, but financial safety as well. This week, I watched in horror as my meager retirement fund slowly evaporated, all while poised on the retirement precipice just when it is unclear if we can rely on Social Security anymore. The ground upon which I stand at the edge of that precipice has become loose and wobbly. Nothing is sure or certain or trustworthy anymore.

Feeling unsafe is an extremely triggering thing to me. Growing up in a chaotic alcoholic household, and then marrying and discovering myself in the exact same environment, my earlier life was marked by a perpetual feeling of impending doom and trauma. I am no longer within either of those situations, yet, your brain is a funny thing. It will remember that trauma forever — years, and decades — remaining alert for any sign that I’m back inside that inescapable bubble of stress and helplessness. So, given our country has recently become an inescapable bubble of stress and helplessness except for the extremely wealthy and the extremely uninformed (ignorance is the only bliss nowadays), it’s no wonder that my old friend Anxiety has grabbed my hand and started walking next to me, whisper in my ear all along the way about all the horrific things that might happen. I want to scream “Shut up!” However, Anxiety has always had the uncanny power to seal my mouth shut, and leave me mute and wide-eyed in terror.

So, getting triggered isn’t new. But my ability to ward off Anxiety’s power over me is much better now. Most of the time, when it attempts to grab my hand, I yank it back. I have better coping mechanisms now, such as the meditations and mantras I mentioned, as well as a Pagan perspective. A Pagan perspective reminds me that nature is calming, that animals are sometimes the best company to keep (particularly when anxiety is boiling), that I have many spiritual deities to turn to, as well as the Goddess of this living earth, and the divine living Universe itself. Within all these options, I find safety. Safety has become a precious nest.

Unlike my columnist days, when I strove to poke and provoke readers into thinking, and lived with my fists up and claws out 24-7, the Hellcat approach isn’t so appealing anymore. It requires a lot of psychological energy that, in the end, rarely amounts to anything positive, or tangible except for new enemies. The urge to write opinion has at long last returned, but without the drive to use words like a machete. I’ll leave my inner Hellcat napping in the sun, and instead focus upon humor, inspiration, and comfort. That’s what I wrote about when I wasn’t busy battling the world.

I asked myself, amid these exasperatingly bizarre times, what the trajectory of my blog writing might be. And, it’s “safety,”  via the wonders and comfort of a Pagan perspective. I will be the soft landing. I will offer the safe place. I will become safety itself. May you feel safe in this spot. And as you embrace that experience, may you in turn become safety for someone else. May we weave a network of safety in an unsafe world, one connection at a time. Like the small creatures of the forest, we know there is safety in the hedgerow, together. Together, we are safe. Together, Gaia holds us close, shrouding us in safety so that those and that which would harm us simply pass by without noticing.

This can’t go on forever. All things must pass — for the better or worse — but they must pass. The train will either smash into the mountain or plunge over the cliff. Meanwhile, we can hold each other close and becoming safety itself for each other, and never stop imagining that someone will appear to switch the tracks in time and guide us away from peril. Hope allows us to feel safe.

Friend, know that this is a safe place for you —that there is room for you within this precious nest.

I am safety.

*****

Magical tip: Take a walk or visit a rock shop,  and pick up a small stone or crystal — the one you’re drawn to. Take it home, cradle it in your palms, gazing at it. Speak these words right into the stone: “Right here, right now, I am safe.” Keep the stone in your pocket as a kinesthetic reminder to speak this mantra as a counterbalance to anxious thoughts.