Last Saturday, I became Queen Florabella for an afternoon. Queen Florabella first made her appearance last year, as part of an inaugural event for a local conservation group, Tuleyome, that is helping to establish a new regional park in my area. Called the “Spring Thing,” the afternoon features a whole host of family-friendly events, from nature walks to face painting to informational booths (including mine: Queen Florabella — Eco Oracle. This year, Tuleyome held the event again, and of course, when I was asked by the coordinator if Queen Florabella could return, I immediately said “Of course!”
I set up my booth space, and waited for people to trickle in to hear what Gaia’s message was for them that day, as well as to discovert their “animal helper” — the animal to remind them to fulfill Gaia’s message. Gaia is the living energy of the entire Earth, and all life on it. I once again used “The Green Oracle” deck because it is so very kid-friendly, and all the cards focus on how even kids can do their part to help save and heal the environment. For the animal helper, I used the “Medicine Cards” deck, which features animals indigenous to North America, that you might see in everyday life.
I set in reading for the folks who stopped by, but there was one in particular that I’ll forever hold in my heart. I have done lots of oracle and tarot readings, both public and private, but this one… this one… really touched my heart.
A young mother juggling three small children — an infant, one about 18 months, and a 5-or-so year old — sat down at my table, and Mom really wanted a reading. However, she said the infant really needed to nurse, and was that okay.
Well, of course it was.
As soon as the baby latched on, the toddler climbed up onto her lap and demanded the other faucet.
“Do you mind?” she asked.
Absolutely not! Do whatever you need to do – this is a safe spot. (As luck would have it, my booth was three-sided, creating a protective little safe harbor.) So, off we went, as she cradled both babies at the breast, the other child drawing happily on some colored pens and cards I’d brought, like this was just a usual, regular thing.
She managed to balance those nursing babies enough to draw the “Food” card from the deck. It features a man sitting at a cafe table with a lovely Mediterranean spread of healthy food. The card signifies the need to nourish your body with healthy food that is also sustainably grown and harvested. We need to be healthy ourselves so we can be great environmental partners. We talked about this need for nourishment and nutrition — as she was, ironically, providing healthy, sustainable nourishment right from her own breasts. WOW. We also talked about the need for her to keep herself healthy and strong, so that she can be healthy and strong enough to serve as that vital nutritional source.
She considered the card, and my words, and then shared that they were living in a hotel because their home had become full of mold, and although they usually eat organically, now they were stuck in a situation without a stove and unable to cook. She admitted, with some guilt rippling across her face, that sometimes she took the kids to McDonald’s, because that was all the energy she had in the moment. I praised her for all her efforts, and assured her that this was completely okay — a few chicken nuggets will not harm her kids. She seemed so relieved that I didn’t judge or scold her for this “sinful” confession. I told her every mom has had a Chicken McNuggets kind of day.
I could sense that this young mother was really struggling to juggle all the plates and keep any of them from crashing down, so I told her about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, which has at its base the survival needs: Food, Shelter, Clothing. Maslow believed we must secure each level of needs before arriving at the top of the pyramid, which is Self-Actualization. Without securing each level, we don’t have the energy or attention span to self-actualize… particularly if we’re living in a hotel because our house is thrashed and we’re raising three small children and also working! I told her that she didn’t need to worry or fret or beat herself up over anything beyond her basic survival needs.
“You are doing all you can just to get by. Sometimes treading water is the best you can do, and not only is that okay, be content with that for now. Your heads are all above water. It’s okay to let higher concerns go for awhile… you don’t need to do the thing, or read the book, or meet the goal for now. Let your energy go where it needs to be right now – literally feeding yourself and your family.”
She seemed immediately relieved to hear that she could put all those “shoulds” on the shelf for now, and just focus on getting through the day, one day at a time.
Next, she drew an animal helper card: Prairie Dog. Prairie Dog’s message is that we survive best within community, particularly when we watch out for each other.
“You are within community. You can rely on support, assistance, and protection from those around you. It’s okay to lean on others when you need to. It’s okay to ask for help. That’s what community is for. It’s okay to not only recognize when you need some support, but to ask for it. And receive it. If we don’t support young mothers with children, then what good are we as a species?”
And she got a little teary and said, “I really needed to hear this message. Really needed it.”
She got up to leave, and paused for a moment, and then… she asked for help: “Could you hold my baby while I bring my car around?”
Oh my.
I haven’t held a tiny infant in so very long, but of course I said yes. And so, there I sat, cradling this heavy, warm, sweet baby right over my heart. I will never have grandchildren of my own, so for a tiny moment, I imagined what holding a grandchild might have felt like. Just for a flash, I indulged in that feeling. It was precious. It was a gift. This young mother, struggling so hard just to get through that moment, allowed me, a total stranger, to hold her infant. Just…. WOW.
When she was all set to leave, I carefully handed the infant back to her. There was an energy exchanged in that moment… an energy of generational motherhood. Of loving community. Of trust.
I’ve done a lot of public events before, but this experience will stand out taller than all the rest, even though for whatever reason, many of the people who came to my booth that day were hurting, teary, and needing validation. Apparently this was Queen Florabella’s calling that day — to provide clarity, comfort, and support. The cards opened a window to allow them to express their hurt. Truly, this was all a sacred experience but in particular, that young mother who just needed to hear, “Relax. You are doing fine. You are okay. You are enough.”
This is the magic of oracle and tarot cards, and how I use them. Sure, the cards often suggest likely outcomes, fresh perspectives, and clarity for one’s situation. But more often, they give people an opportunity to safely explore and express their emotions and concerns, like lancing a spiritual wound, which is the first step in the healing process. I’m so deeply honored to be part of that process. To know that in some way, I pointed someone towards a gateway to healing and peace.