In the midst of paring down my expenses after setting off on adventures in self-employment over the summer, I jettisoned all sorts of stuff: hair care clubs, skin care clubs, subscriptions, and more. The one guilty little pleasure that survived the cut was my Sirius XM subscription. And you know what? I don’t really miss that other stuff. But I would have missed my XM radio, and that was reinforced to me last week, when I had to leave my car in the shop to get the radio replaced because it had an illumination issue. The lights weren’t on, even though the music was home.
So, I toodled around in a super cool Chevy Colorado that only had basic AM/FM (what sort of Third World country is this, anyway?), and I was more than ready to get my car and my tunes back. However, when I pulled away, I discovered that when they replaced the radio, the stations were randomly blasted all over — XM, AM and FM all scrambled together. I am entirely too OCD to tolerate this for more than five minutes, so at the first opportunity, I parked the car and methodically began restoring musical order, one station at a time: The Bridge, Deep Tracks, The Coffeehouse, Classic Rewind, Soul Town, yup… Sports channels, nope… MSNBC, check… BBC, check… NPR, check… Fox News, get the hell out the back door… ’50s, ’60s, ’70s, ’80s, ’90s, yup… Beatles, Tom Petty, Willie Nelson, yup, yup and yup.
I hadn’t set up my XM stations since I got the car years ago, and was wondering if there were any new stations since then. I figured I’d find out while I went along, and quickly filled up all six sets of station pre-sets. Damn. Out of room. Oh well, all my faves were still there (disgusting lack of a Led Zeppelin channel notwithstanding), and then it slowly dawned on me… heeeeyyyyyy…. There’s a channel for Tom and Willie, and also Elvis, Sinatra, Billy Joel, Garth Brooks and Ozzy Osbourne… where are all the legendary black artists?
Where are the Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin and Michael Jackson channels?? And, no PRINCE channel?? That is music blasphemy!!! Prince was the most talented human being to ever grace this planet! Otherwordly talented! And Kenny Chesney gets a channel before PRINCE? I call shenanigans. Or maybe I should just call racism. Because it’s painfully obvious that that’s what this is.
Sure there are a couple rap channels, but they’re devoted to Eminem and Pitbull! No black artists featured on the rap channels?? WTF?
And yes, I do like rap. Gimme a little Gin & Juice with my California Love, baybay…
AND! Where are the channels devoted to legendary female artists? I already mentioned Aretha… where’s the Barbra Streisand channel? Linda Ronstadt? Christina Aguilera? Whitney Houston for freak’s sake? Where the hell is Whitney? Can you even talk about American music without mentioning Whitney?
Taylor Swift? (OK, not that I’d listen to that one, but she is inarguably a pop icon with an immense following and therefore commercially lucrative.) Do you think an Alicia Keys channel is a tad overdue? The woman is a Goddess. She’s on fire! Give her a damn XM channel! And that goes double for Beyoncé. Ever hear of her, Sirius XM? Alicia is a Goddess, but Bey is the Queen of the musical universe! Where’s her XM channel, for freak’s sake?
No MADONNA channel?
What sort of fuckerie is this, anyway?? Like her or not, Madonna inarguably spun the music world on its ear.
Boom.
Mic drop.
Give her an XM channel!
Where the hell is the Lady Gaga Little Monsters channel?? She’s Madonna 2.0, and spun the music world onto its other ear! Get going on Gaga!
While we’re looking into sexual and racial diversity… how about a little brown, boys? Sure Pitbull claims Hispanic bloodlines and has an XM channel — but is it because he looks like an average angry white guy, thereby making him safe and palpable to Sirius XM’s target audience: Mainstream White America? #Ugh.
How about a little brown in there, Sirius? Ever hear of a guy named Carlos Santana? Do you think maybe he deserves his own damn music channel? Would I listen to a Shakira channel? My hips won’t lie! Absolutely! Gloria Estefan?? I’ve worn out my Gloria CDs. It’s time to take her digital! Get her an XM channel, dammit!
Admittedly, relative to the vast number of legendary black, female and black female artists, there are few legendary Hispanic singers, so I could almost give Sirius XM a pass on that. Almost. Maybe not.
Hey SiriusXM: You may not have noticed, given that you exist in Whitey McWhite land, but here are a lot of Hispanics in the U.S. The Mexican music world is huge. And also wonderful. Why isn’t that reflected on Sirius XM? Donde esta “La Musica” channel? Do you even begin to realize the depth of that untapped Hispanic music world? No. Clearly you do not. Do you further not realize that lots of white folks love Latin music?
I know.
Mind.
BLOWN.
But, first things first. The glaring lack of channels dedicated to legendary black or female or black female artists is downright shameful. American music would not exist as it does today without black singers and musicians. Period. Even more so than women. Black music is the bones of most all the music we know and love here in America. Why is this not represented on Sirius XM? Maybe because white privilege exists at the corporate level too? White privilege is less about what whites do experience than what they don’t experience. It’s just like male privilege: It’s not about what men do experience, it’s about what they don’t. With their white male featured channel lineup, Sirius XM is perpetuating a world where it’s all about white males, and everyone else can just divvy up whatever scraps are left over.
Hey, Sirius, XM: The 1950s called and they want their white male privilege back.
And also, Sirius XM, this is your official notice: You just been woke.
I know. It pinches. Feel the pinch and make it right anyway.